Happy Fathers day to all dads

First and foremost…happy fathers day to my own father and a big thank you to him for putting up with 3 crazy boys. Congratulations to him too for his monumental achievement of graduating with a masters degree after leaving behind a comfortable executive position in a non profit organization, and coming to the United States to hustle with the rest of us. Congrats and the boys and myself are looking forward to calling you Dr. Karoki soon.

Unfortunately in the African community we rarely acknowledge the critical roles our fathers played in raising us and even more seldom do we formally celebrate dads. The general attitude is that, it is the job of fathers to go to work, put the food on the table, push us to achieve our goals and that’s it and therefore recognizing them for their “job” is like recognizing the kidney for filtering blood, producing erythropoietin, and regulating our blood pressure after a night of idiotically saturating our body with Budweiser and tequila. After all we do not have a “happy kidney’s day “ do we?

Nevertheless, being a dad of two beautiful and wonderful kids with whom I am madly in love with, I recognize how critical my role as a father is, to two very helpless living organisms whose cerebrums and cerebellums are yet to mature. My son and daughter are dependent on me not just for their daily bread but for nurturing, mentorship, guidance, protection and sustaining a healthy development in a crazy world.

So, I would like to share some of the following statistics about children whose fathers played little to no roles in their upbringing

* 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
(Source: U.S. D.H.K.S., Bureau of the Census)
* 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes
(Source: U.S- D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census)
*85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes
(Source: Center for Disease Control)
*80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes
(Source:Criminal Justice & Behavior,Vol 14, p- 403-26, 1978
*71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
(Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High schools)
*75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes
(Source: Rainbows For All God’s Children.)
*70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes
(Source: U.S. Dept. of justice, special Report, Sept 1988)

These statistics translate to mean that children from a fatherless home are:
*5 times more likely to commit suicide.
*32 times more likely to run away.
*20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders.
*14 times more likely to commit rape
*9 times more likely to drop out of high school.
*10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances.
*9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution.
*20 times more like to end up in prison.
These statistics have a way of sobering the way we think of our fathers. I am glad to have had and continue to have a father who is active in my life and I believe most of the readers had the same privilege growing up. Fatherhood is challenging. Tim Hansell said, “It takes time to be a good father. It takes effort – trying, failing, and trying again.”

Fathers are not born being good fathers, they learn from their own fathers but most of all they learn from themselves. Their successes and failures, their triumphs and their losses and the sons and daughters learn from those situations as they watch there father deal with the curve balls of life. The joys of fatherhood cannot be replaced by anything or anyone but the real joy comes in imparting part of yourself as a father to your offspring and seeing them practice what you as a father have imparted. Kathryn McCarthy Graham once said,
“My father is the standard by which all subsequent men in my life have been judged’

What a powerful statement. For those of us who are fathers, it is indeed a great task that we have ahead of us. As we celebrate father’s day I hope that you will take time to honor your father including the one who sees all things and seeks only good from he that he loves.

“For God so Loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life”